People will get angry and uncomfortable as you heal. Even people who insisted that they have been cheering you on, but in reality just liked playing the role of a supportive older brother/older sister. You'll quickly realize that all the rules of empowerment were meant for them, and they don't like it at all when those rules suddenly start applying to you.
See my post about women-on-women abuse and how supposedly empowered women reacted when I no longer needed their validation. The minute I stopped giving my power away to these "priestesses of the Goddess", they turned into competitive mean girls. Their mask of sisterhood, their mask of the patriarchy-free "wise woman" fell off, and all that was left was the Regina George they had been hiding underneath all along.
Even Yoginis and wise women will suddenly start behaving like the dysfunctional women of your bio-family when you are leaving this fate trap.
Trust your perception when this happens. Do not let them gaslight you with misused spiritual language. They will preach about love and healing while consistently behaving in cruel, unsympathetic, psychopathic ways, and then gaslight you when you notice the discrepancy. You need to know that your perception is not wrong. It is a problem for THEM that you can see their hatred clearly under the veil of "inclusivity" and unbothered enlightenment.
And this veil gets pierced repeatedly as you leave the scapegoat vibration. It's heartbreaking and so, so disillusioning.
You will repeatedly see their unhinged rage and jealousy at losing control over you. That's how much power you had all along, as their sin-eater. That's how comfortable they were with your suffering. How necessary your suffering was for their delusions of grandeur to continue.
Nobody wants you to stop being the scapegoat. Their money, their "success", their empire of lies and theft all depend on you continuing to eat their sins like a good little sacrificial goat.
Even your Twin Flame will get completely rattled, because their previous love for you was based on this unhealthy dynamic that you shared with the whole world. That old love between you and your Twin Flame is going to die in this process, because you are both outgrowing it and a new container has to be formed between you two.
To quote from Women Who Run With the Wolves:
“Sometimes the one who is running from the Life/Death/Life nature insists on thinking of love as a boon only. Yet love in its fullest form is a series of deaths and rebirths. We let go of one phase, one aspect of love, and enter another. Passion dies and is brought back. Pain is chased away and surfaces another time. To love means to embrace and at the same time to withstand many endings, and many many beginnings - all in the same relationship.”
This is what I meant when I said that on the road to Harmonious Union, everything burns down.
You will lose everyone - family, friends, colleagues, and your Twin - as you leave the scapegoat vibration. With your Twin especially, it is a test of self-love, non-attachment and a constant revealing process. Your job is to always choose God (i.e. choose your worth and value), and it's God's job to reveal who your Twin is again and again.
(Yes, I know people who entered Harmonious Twin Flame Union and were then still tested repeatedly into letting go, doubting if their Twin was really their Twin and surrendering to God in that place.)
One way or another, everyone's true face gets revealed when you stop being the scapegoat.
And it's not pretty. It's not fun. It can bring up despair and disillusionment, because even those who taught you how to heal actually feel uncomfortable and threatened when you DO heal.
I have to say, the disillusionment is hard.
It is extraordinarily painful to realize that most people's good opinion of me, or even "love" for me, depended on me denying my needs, denying my desires, and denying my humanity. That most people would rather see me dead than see me get what I want. That they would rather see me dead than lose a punching bag they need for their frustrations and insecurities.
People don't really want victims of abuse and torture to survive. The damage caused to us is too great, and they don't want to take accountability. They know how much scapegoating we took, and how deep the damage went. At this point, victims of abuse and torture are more profitable to them dead.
It's painful when I realize that these people who were soul-raping me knew the truth all along, subconsciously, and they were terrified of being pulled out of their convenient denial.
As I begin to reveal myself as a worthy, capable, lovable human being, these people are losing their shit. How can they justify scapegoating me now? How can they justify stealing from me now? And who are they, if I am not the scapegoat they wanted me to be?
They needed to see me as a locked up treasure chest that they could pillage and rape for their own greed. They knew all along that I wasn't being treated right, but they NEEDED justification to steal from me. Now that this justification is going away, the people who raped my soul with impunity are losing their minds. Nobody enjoys finding out that they were the real villain all along, that their whole narcissistic self-image was based on raping someone else's soul and that they never gained anything of real value from all that rape and theft they participated in.
Nobody enjoys finding out that there was a price to pay for all that rape and theft.
Nobody wants God to awaken inside a scapegoat's body, because that means consequences. It means terror and death.
Nobody wants to see how ugly they really are inside, when they can no longer shove their sins onto someone else's heart.
And it's sad, humiliating, and disgusting to see that this is the reality of the people you've surrounded yourself with your whole life. That underneath all the "be yourself!" platitudes, they actually really hate it and feel intimidated when you become unapologetically yourself.
It's so heartbreaking that I understand why so many people prefer to live their lives with their eyes shut, deciding that they'd rather be people-pleasers and sin-eaters than face the ugly truth. Because the ugly truth is sometimes unbearable.