Beware the Propaganda

The "Aryan/Dravidian" shit is a big fucking lie, and "Dravidianism" is a sick distortion of South Indian pride.

I'm a proud South Indian woman. I speak Telugu and Kannada, and I revered my dark skin before it became socially acceptable to criticize fairness creams. I'm so proud of my Telugu heritage that I am ferociously, murderously angry at the wicked partition of Andhra Pradesh. I want heads to roll and I want a large number of cuntbuckets dismembered so that Andhra Pradesh can be reunited again.

I also want most "Dravidianists" dead because they are a disgusting perversion of the golden South.

I have worshipped Lord Ravana and the Bull Demon (Mahishasura) and I recognize when these hollow, soulless, culture-less "Dravidianists" weaponize these sacred rakshasas for pointless political division. The shallow fools have no idea who these sacred rakshasas are, or how deep their wisdom goes.

Pretty sure the "Dravidianists" would die if they found out that Rama and Ravana are not actually in conflict at the highest level, or that Goddess Durga benevolently sent me to see Mahishasura like a doctor referring a patient to another doctor.

If you buy into Aryan/Dravidian shit, you are perpetuating a narrative that white Victorians imposed on you. You're letting someone else tell you what a language group means and what inferences should be drawn from it. You're letting someone else tell you what your DNA record means and what inferences should be drawn from it. You're buying into a story that was created to fill in huge gaps in a narrative to suit someone else's agenda.

It really is not so different from the modern colonizing lens that says, "Northeast Indians basically look Chinese and South Indians basically look African."

Love who you really are, not what someone else told you about yourself. See yourself for who you really are, not what someone else's gaze projected onto you.

Just like how my Twin Flame is deeply connected to Sikh culture and the Gurus, yet absolutely hates Khalistan. As do I. The Sikh Gurus have actually helped our Twin Flame Union a lot, they are enlightened masters and hold way more power and wisdom than the Khalistani terrorists could ever fathom.

The Aryan lie and the Khalistani lie are the same kind of distortion, in fact - and it's why Khalistanis are so racist and obsessed with their pre-Sikh caste identity (the Jat caste). Something the Sri Guru Granth Sahib and Gurbani explicitly forbid.

The Khalistani identity is the complete opposite of a Sikh, just like how the "Aryan race" construct is the complete opposite of the Hindu Arya ideal.

Sacred revolution against corrupt elites is real and necessary. Disruption of the established order is real and necessary. Anger is very necessary.

It just doesn't look like the rabble-rousing of hypocritical louts who will do anything for a paycheck and can't/won't think for themselves.

Notice the psyop. Notice when something good is distorted for evil purposes. And stay the fuck away from mainstream news and all mainstream moralizing. It's a lie.

For the Pakistani reader(s)

I'll share one more thing before I retreat back into my cave.

I know that at least one (maybe more) Pakistani ex-Muslim has been quietly visiting this blog and thinking about reverting to the ancestral religion.

Take my advice: don't do this through programs like ISKCON or Arya Samaj. And other organizations' ghar wapsi ceremonies vary in quality depending on who is conducting them.

If you are a Pakistani ex-Muslim, there's literally only one way you need to do this: tarpanam.

Look up online how to do a tarpanam ritual for your ancestors and do it regularly to heal your lineage. It doesn't matter if you feel self-conscious or if you think you don't know how to do it "correctly", just do it sincerely.

This is your way to cleanse and retrieve your lost, family-specific Hinduism, and to reconnect with your last generation of Hindu ancestors before you were broken away from the Dharma.

While there is much to criticize about caste (and I've written about those very real problems both here and on Reddit), the other side of what happens beyond the caste distortion is deep connection to the ancestors, your life purpose, and your mental stability.

Pray to your ancestors. Make the offerings at the new moon. Talk to them.

Pray to Yama, and don't be afraid just because He is Death. He is also called the King of Righteousness and the Lord of the Ancestors. It is completely safe to pray to Yama.

Trust me. I live in the Underworld. This blog is written from inside the Underworld (yes, literally).

If you are a Pakistani ex-Muslim trying to return home, then you are starting out as a survivor of the Hindu genocide. Genocides might destroy civilizations, but what was lost can be recovered through the Underworld.

Because your original spirituality died, only Yama can find what was murdered and lost in the Underworld. Because your ancestral connection was severed, only the Lord of the Ancestors can restore that dead connection.

And the ancestors will begin invisibly guiding you to your lost kula devata - your clan's guardian deity. A profound treasure that was stolen from you.

This is the real way home.

May Yama's dogs guide you to that family reunion that your soul has longed for through the centuries.

JAYATU DHARMARAJA

Remembrance of what they tried to make us forget

Sadhvi Bhagawati Saraswati, a Jewish-Hindu nun, described a moment when the River Ganga claimed her and changed her life. Shortly after her arrival in Rishikesh, she wanted to put her feet in the river to cool off. She knew that this river was called "the Ganges" but she didn't yet know what that meant.

As Sadhviji sat and put her feet into the water, she experienced an immediate and overwhelming sense of divine presence. She began to cry, which she described as "tears of truth" and "tears of coming home".

I have never before heard someone so clearly describe my experience. 

This happened to me on the astral plane, and it was with the River Sindhu. This goddess is also called the Indus River, and She has currently been kidnapped by the patriarchal virus called "Pakistan".

Without going into the details of my astral experience, I put my feet into the Sindhu River. And then I BAWLED MY EYES OUT. Like fragmented, broken shards of my soul were coming home to me. Like I was plugging back into my source code. The Sindhu's celestial waters poured into me. It was indescribably powerful, bittersweet, and full of grace. A bittersweet experience of reconnection, healing, and renewal.

What's going to happen next is going to be a very, very bumpy ride out of hell, but it will reveal all that the patriarchal paradigm tried to bury. It will suck so much, but it will recover deliberately repressed memories and bring truth back into consciousness. 

My forbidden truth and my deliberately stolen memories. Other people's forbidden truths and stolen memories. Truths that break this fake reality at its root.

This news story from 2021 pretty much sums up what this vibrational shift is going to be like.

Twin Flames and Telugu Country

One of the many stupidities that I will never forgive - especially because the stupidity pattern is continuing - is the wicked partition of Andhra Pradesh.

A wickedness that they are still trying to replicate across India, trying to continue dividing states in order to control what is uncontrollable.

I'm a Telugu woman and I will not forgive the partition of Andhra Pradesh. I still call it Andhra Pradesh, the whole state, and I only use old maps. Just like how I only use maps of undivided India.

So why did they partition my beloved Andhra Pradesh?

Without going into the politics, here is part of the vibrational truth: they did it as a reaction to the rising frequency of Twin Flame Union, which threatens people in power.

Because it is also tied to healing the earth grid of Telugu country, purging the ley lines of evil that has been blocking the channels for a long, long time. The land has carried the pain of Twin Flame separation for far too long.

Inside the land of Andhra Pradesh is an ancestral medicine that modern India has forgotten, despite making a big show of ancestor veneration for social and political clout.

Just like how the frequency of Twin Flame Union scares the shit out of them, despite everyone pretending they are "twin flame coaches" now.

So the rising frequency of Twin Flame Union threatens people in power.

It's something that will break the entire false timeline and the false identities of people who are...nothing like who they pretend to be. A lot of Telugu people are nothing like who they pretend to be. They don't know who they are, so they don't know what Andhra Pradesh even is.

And that goes for the whole country and the whole world too.

When enough Twin Flames come into Union, the whole world is going to change. Every single country will be rattled. Every single control game - including this sick business of dividing Indian states - will fall apart.

I can't wait until India is no longer in the hands of psychopaths who never deserved the Dharma.

Darshan

The Twin Flame connection is a bit different from the trauma healing and decolonization that I've been describing.

Framing it through the four upayas (means of liberation), the trauma healing I've been doing is a lot like shaktopaya. But the Twin Flame connection starts at shambhavopaya.

It is complete lucidity. And lucidity is terrifying.

Like when a consecrated, completely alive idol of Goddess Durga left me speechless with awe, terrified and shocked because She scared me awake. For that brief darshan, She completely ended all thought, even thoughts about thought.

Or like when a broken but still alive idol of Goddess Cybele (I think in Her case, it would be called a theophany instead of a darshan) almost brought me to my knees because Her idol was so terrifyingly alive, real and powerful. I couldn't form words and all thoughts ceased. There was only the Self recognizing the Self...and my urge to run away.

Why does terror arise in such enlivening Divine presence? Because you're made aware of just how asleep you've been. Because it means the game is over and maybe you're not ready yet.

That's what darshan of your Twin Flame is like. The first time my Twin laid eyes on me at 3:33 AM in the morning, he was left terrified and speechless in the exact same way.

Because it feels like waking up out of a dream you didn't realize you were in. Unplugging from the Matrix.

Look deeper

Everything that I said here is not entirely what it seems, because there are karmic layers of truth. Which is actually why I tried to be "non-judgmental" for so long, because I was aware of how contradictory, disorienting, and strange the layers of karmas underneath were.

But that didn't work either because the solution isn't to say, "That's just karma" and dismiss abuse. The solution is to say, "Fuck you for genociding the native population of India, you absolute fucking cunts." And then ALSO detach from the Hindu egregore and other people's karmas and go within into meditation.

Christians and Muslims are not ever let off the hook for the sins they did to India, even as India's deeper karmas are upheaved out of consciousness.

Similarly, just as how Israel's deeper karmas must be upheaved out of consciousness, that does not let the world's antisemitism off the hook. I have to say, when I stopped leaking empathy to the narcissistic Palestinians, I regained so much mental clarity and a clearer ability to hear Hekate.

Even that didn't fully explain what I wanted to say. I'm finding that what I want to actually say is just...unable to be said. Ever. You'll find my explanations of my paradoxical political views on this page.

We are in a paradoxical place in consciousness. And everything I say, I then have go back and actually contradict what I just said. Both things are equally true and do NOT cancel out each other.

This is my unspeakable, strange life at Hekate's crossroads.

Civilizational Amnesia, Twin Flames and Soul-Rape

"All Hindus shall be driven out of Sindh like the Jews from Germany."

— G. M. Syed (on the ethnic cleansing of Northwest India's native population to create a fictional entity called "Pakistan")

The human body is a temple of God. A human being acts as a microcosm of their world/macrocosm. The soul-rape of a human being - my direct, brutal experience - is a microcosmic expression of the genocide of a civilization.

It's why my recovery from soul-rape is coinciding with the destruction of a completely false Christian and Islamic fascist world built on the stolen wisdom of colonized peoples. It's why my recovery from soul-rape is coinciding with a reckoning over every type of subjugation based on race, gender, sexuality, etc.

It's why my recovery process has taken me into the agonizing depths of my ancestral genocide, the Hindu genocide that is still ongoing. A story of massacre, mass slave trafficking, temple destruction, university destruction, institutionalized gangrapes, institutionalized mass suicide to avoid institutionalized gangrapes, theft of scholarship, theft of identity, theft of artifacts, reversal of narratives, apartheid, land theft and horror at such a colossal scale that I think I'm going to collapse every time I even think about it.

There are no words to describe the devastation that Hindus (and our kin, the Sikhs, Jains and Buddhists) endured, and are continuing to endure.

And it will get much worse before it gets better.

I recognize all of it as a macrocosmic expression of exactly what happened to me. And it's STILL ongoing. The quest for Ghazwa-e-Hind (the "conquest of India" promised to the Muslims by their prophet in their hadith) hasn't ended, and Christian missionaries - who bring spiritual genocide wherever they go - are feening for Hindu blood like the vampires they have always been, openly proclaiming their intention to mass-convert India to Christianity.

It's why my recovery from soul-rape is triggering their psychotic determination to complete the soul-rape of India. I am a microcosmic expression of the land goddess of India, and these colonizers got used to keeping my soul in a cage, where they could eat her and rape her with impunity.

It's why I had to confront nasty, nasty psychic brainwashing that astrally attacked me when I began to release the big lie of the "Aryan race" that was so hammered into the collective unconscious that it held on even though I actually never believed in it, even though I've said for years that the "Aryan Invasion Theory" is fictional and the basis for a mass psychosis among white people and Muslims (who both love this fanfiction because it absolves them of guilt, apparently).

Even with all of my conscious decolonization, the lie of an "Aryan race" invading India and bringing Hinduism into India had been creepily inserted into the unconscious to siphon my energy and control me. 

When I shook it off, it was like I had control over my own mind again. I also experienced reconnection with my ancestors.

We have been colonized in countless ways. Our memories and voices have been erased in countless ways. There is SO MUCH amnesia.

Just like how the black Africans who built Egypt have been erased from Kemetic history, and now everyone imagines the ancient Egyptian world as Arab/Vaguely Brown in appearance.

The Aryan Lie was meant to create the same wetiko-powered Deep Fake in India. Erasing the Islamic invasion by transferring their appearance and "conquest" onto a native people who literally worship the Indian subcontinent's sacred geography as their religion. 

Kind of like how a tyrant's consciousness is inserted into their slave's psyche to control them. 

There is a film from 2017 called "Get Out" that needs to be watched. It's about the enslavement of the African psyche, but it also explains how the Aryan False Mask was inserted into the Hindu Indian mind, including my horrifying experiences (the movie just replaces magical causes with scientific causes).

The fake colonizer name "South Asia" has now sprung up to do the same thing as the Aryan Lie, erasing Hindu history and Muslim crimes in one go.

"South Asia" is an artificial term that colonizes the Indian subcontinent through a Western European and Islamic lens. 

Frankly, so is the disgusting, cowardly word "Indic", which makes me want to vomit.

The Indian subcontinent, and the Indian identity, is a way of life that is neither Eurocentric nor Islamocentric/Arab-centric.

And decentering my worldview from these colonizer lenses has taken me way deeper into my unconscious mind than I ever realized I needed to go.

Beneath the false light there are screams of subjugated people in the Underworld. I've heard the screams of Native American children in my dreams and I experienced archetypal patterns and spirit guidance that showed how my horrifying soul-rape experience was connected to the Native American genocide (I was born on the American continent, so what happened to this land affects me) and the horrific ordeals of enslaved and subjugated African-Americans - the descendants of Pharaohs and builders of the Pyramids who were culturally broken by Christians and Muslims and had their civilizational glory stolen.

This cycle of horror has produced the deepest distortions of history across all cultures, has warped our collective perception on the deepest level, and has inserted lies into our blind spots. 

Subjugated the souls of polytheist cultures (and non-proselytizing ancestral traditions, like Judaism). 

Programmed an entire false reality.

When they genocide a subjugated people, they feed on that harvested energy - the infamous "loosh" that the Prison Planet community discusses.

And the way ancient civilizations were destroyed is EXACTLY how Twin Flame Unions were historically destroyed.

Which is why the rebirth of Twin Flame Union spells doom for the dark empires built over the bones of these ancient civilizations.

These three movies (out of them "Article 370" is my favorite and possibly one of the most healing, soul-nourishing, validating, and comforting Hindi films I have EVER watched in my life) describe how demon-possessed Kashmiri Muslims, infected with the virus of India's invaders, raped Kashmir's soul...and what the effects of such soul-rape are.

- The Kashmir Files
- Baramulla
- Article 370

Reclaiming My Silenced Voice

As I said in my post about the Epstein files, that entire story is symptomatic of a much deeper current of widespread occult abuse, human sacrifice and torture on this planet. It takes many forms, and it's why the Prison Planet community exists too. I am one of the victims of this darkness. Some of us have experienced so much horror and torture that we can't even discuss it publicly, or we'll be killed. 

Not just ridiculed, actually killed. 

If I talked publicly on this blog about what I lived through (and am still living through), I would be killed.

It is why I worship the much-demonized Mother Kali, it is why Hekate and Dhumavati have been my guides in the dark Underworld. The Dark Goddess knows this suffering. And it is only by Her power that I will ever reach a point where I can safely speak my forbidden truths one day.

All the so-called truth-tellers and alternative media sources out there are really little more than controlled opposition. That's why they aren't being killed.

For example, I've seen even my former cult leaders (Jeff and Megan of Twin Flames Universe) trying to talk about a "Luciferian" agenda, when literally some of the occult abuse I suffered was at their hands. So don't believe a fucking word they say. They have put an occult Binding on their victims (including me) which means I get psychically attacked and blocked whenever I try to explain the truth of what they did to me.

My story is darker than what you've heard the TFU survivors speak of in the Netflix and Prime documentaries. It's like the difference between Virginia Giuffre's politically correct testimony versus the more outlandish, less "normal" stories of people like Chantal Frei, Rachel Vaughan, Jeanette Archer, Anneke Lucas and Cathy O’Brien.

(This is also why Virginia Giuffre tried to gaslight and silence other survivors, and why some Epstein survivors expressed relief when Virginia Giuffre died.)

You have no idea how dark this goes, because those of us who have been through the Underworld can't talk about it publicly. The world just won't react well. The world isn't ready to hear this uncomfortable, horrifying truth.

But the time is coming when the lid is going to be blown off. The time is coming when their occult restraints will fail to bind me anymore. And when that time comes, I WILL speak my forbidden truth. My soul will know the relief and blessing promised in the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad:

Lead me from untruth to truth
From darkness to light
From death to immortality

The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth

Baba Bulleh Shah (an Indian Sufi mystic) appeared to me in a dream a while back and said very compassionately: "The key to Jannat will be granted to the mazlum." 

I didn't know what "mazlum" meant, so I looked it up. It's literally the Scapegoat. It speaks to my entire multi-lifetime experience of being oppressed, marginalized, and silenced.

And that's the kind of seeker that Baba Bulleh Shah himself loves - because he was a rebellious heretic of late 17th/mid-18th century India. Everything that awakened the ecstatic spark of gnosis within him made him a threat to the local mullahs.

This poor man, now considered one of the greatest examples of Indian Sufism, pissed off mainstream society during his lifetime so much that he was cast out, condemned, and denied an Islamic burial following his death. 

He was literally buried in a wasteland without prayers. I mean, holy shit. I feel like I RECOGNIZE HIM IN MY SOUL.

Because he's just like you and me. He repeatedly emphasized that your inner truth is valid even if the orthodoxy doesn't accept it, even if you are cast aside by society. He went beyond the tyranny of labels and words, embracing paradox as a portal to birthing a new world, and showed by example that real Divine Power emerges in those who have nothing else to cling to.

I can tell that he knew the divine madness of being crazily broken out of hypnotic trance, the terrifying lucidity that comes when the spell ends.

He dwells in the liminal space beyond labels, where the Goddess of the Crossroads is found.

And it is the ones who are rejected, abandoned, tortured and broken who are granted the keys to Jannat.

The Epstein files are just the tip of the iceberg

What I have gone through, and am still going through despite having broken free to some level, is comparable to what is described in the Epstein files. I recognize the depth of terror and torment described by satanic ritual abuse survivors like Jeanette Archer, Anneke Lucas and Cathy O’Brien, because I have gone through occult abuse and torture so serious that 

My. 

Soul. 

Was. 

Raped.

The circumstances of my abuse was not exactly the same as what the Epstein survivors and other SRA survivors describe. Our experiences are very different in their specific details (including our spiritual evaluations of what happened), but the intensity of the pain and severity of the torture are strikingly similar. Even when the content of our experiences diverges, the weight of it all and the level of horrifying pain exist on the same scale.

When I was facing absolute darkness, listening to their testimonies made me feel less alone. Someone else suffered in the darkness as I did. Someone else had the exact same psychic torture experiences as I did. Someone else out there knew.

These SRA survivors are the only people - besides my Twin and a small group of crazy-from-pain people I know - who understand the torture, horror, and mind control that I have endured.

When I said that I was a human sacrifice locked up in the Underworld, I actually got hate mail from screeching online bullies. 

When I explained myself to anyone, or tried to reveal what was happening on this planet, I was ignored, mocked, gaslit, and attacked.

When I said that the occult abuse I went through was specifically targeting my Twin Flame connection (my Twin Flame also went through this), I was met with incredulity and more ridicule.

And there's more. If I were to open my mouth and talk about the specifics of what has happened to me, I think even now nobody would believe it. People are JUST waking up to this by reading those Epstein files, but what's in those files is not even 1% of the truth.

Some of us have survived horrors that you literally don't even know how to imagine.

What I have gone through would disillusion the whole world and make people commit suicide. And frankly, the people who have supported this harmful world system and mocked my pain deserve to commit suicide. My rage towards the narcissists' flying monkeys is as strong as my rage towards the narcissists themselves. If you enabled this energy-siphoning structure and shouted me down when I found the immense courage to timidly speak my painful truth, you are complicit.

You are so fucking complicit.

Without my Goddess I would have had no way through this. And I will not forget that I had nobody but my Goddess.