"One of the mysteries of the path is that we can’t know in advance what it will be like to live our lives without our conditioned ways of seeing the world. If our lenses of perception are cleansed it’s like we’re naked and newborn. This is the archetype of birth, or rebirth, which can be simultaneously thrilling and terrifying, and almost always contradictory."
― Matt Licata
Something very huge is changing. A total paradigm shift in ways that are truly impossible to put into words.
Hekate Kleidoukhos has the power to grant you a mystical Key. I am experiencing that Key being given to me right now and nothing makes sense.
I have spoken before briefly about a Guardian at the Threshold who holds the boundaries of my reality. This threshold guardian is also a being that I describe as a Keeper of Secrets - mystical secrets, not the dirty secrets of the elite that Pluto unravels. (Though they are related! And it's interesting that I wrote that, because Pluto returns to Capricorn for the last time in my lifetime in a couple of weeks...)
The point is, I am passing a dangerous threshold. I don't think I have ever approached such a critical spiritual threshold.
I have sometimes even wondered if the threshold guardian is also a form of Hekate Herself, being as She is a guardian of crossroads and gateways. It doesn't matter. In Her role as Keeper of the Keys, now Hekate Kleidoukhos is...granting me access.
Every time I try to type what I really want to say, I end up deleting it.
It's frustrating to not be able to talk about it, because I need to express my voice and this is such a lonely and terrifying journey, but apparently there are things I can't talk about. And more importantly, I don't fully understand yet what is happening (and maybe I never will), so yeah. The Keeper of the Keys is an initiatrix and...not at all what you expect.
"The rules are being rewritten."
― my Twin Flame's higher self
For a while now I've been liberating myself from spiritual distortions masquerading as the rules of the universe. But it's going to a whole new level now and sometimes I feel crazy.
Not only is your Twin Flame Union totally unique, your relationship with God is so unique that you are actually uniting with a different God from everyone else's God, in a different universe from everyone else's universe. Literally.
Nobody shares your Heavenly kingdom except your Twin Flame. You two have a unique frequency.
Twin Flame teachers will not be able to fully guide you into that new universe, because they want you to stay in their reality. They can have this blind spot even if they are in Harmonious Union...because that's their Harmonious Union, not yours! And each Harmonious Union is not only its own castle, it's actually its own universe.
Be discerning and know when it's time to move on from your Twin Flame coach, even if that person or couple really helped you. Because they might subconsciously try to keep you small because that's very lucrative for them, and they also can't even recognize your bigness. Your true Twin Flame frequency is alien to theirs on the deepest level because that's how this path is. Each Twin Flame pair shares a soul blueprint with each other that nobody else "gets", not even other Twin Flame pairs.
Your Twin Flame coach or teacher might get so triggered by the foreign frequency of your true soul blueprint that they'll project onto it and call it shadow, when in fact it's the unique Light that you and your Twin Flame are meant to share together.
It could also be that there are mental constructs and concepts that were core to a certain level of Twin Flame work, but which no longer apply to you because you've "graduated" from them. Maybe those mental constructs and concepts were a useful ladder you climbed to a higher vibration - and now, do you still need the ladder?
Maybe the teacher thinks you do, because holding onto their ladder after you've climbed it keeps you a paying client. But the path of Twin Flame ascension is nuanced, and in order to progress you have let go of a teaching long after its done its job. Sometimes you outgrow a vehicle of ascension because you not only need a new vehicle, you now need a vehicle with a different type of engine that runs on a different type of fuel.
"Surrender it the moment it floats up, the moment you glimpse it. Surrender everything the moment you become aware. Even if you think you are certain you know what to do."
― my Twin Flame's higher self
I am again and again giving up trying to figure things out. Learning to surrender when I can't see the way forward or make sense of the disintegration, the letting go, the emerging new consciousness and the dying old self.
I'm also having the disorienting experience of trying to do divination through timelines. I am moving through such huge vibrational shifts that my cards can't see through them until they happen.
Your intuition breaks down as you leave the Matrix. The intuition has been running on old programming, filtering through a closed, self-contained reality that doesn't actually encompass ALL of reality.
Sometimes all I can do is just stay with the exact feelings and trust the intelligence of my body. It's when I try to understand it or plan ahead that I get tangled up.
And sometimes I get caught in traps anyway. This is a messy, horrifying death of a nightmare reality, and dealing with blowback from abusive people who are enraged by my healing is unavoidable.
I have no idea what comes next - no ability to even divine what comes next, which is new to me - and that is terrifying.
When the Divine Mother told me that the Tower would crash this summer, She wasn't kidding.
I have to be careful of what I say here, because this could be interpreted in a psychological way. The truth is no therapeutic model can explain this.
Love cannot exist in a sick paradigm of separation consciousness, narcissism, and soul-rape.
In order to leave that sick paradigm of separation consciousness, narcissism, and soul-rape, entire inner personality facets die off and sometimes it feels like an old self is dying so a new self can be born. In my case, I can feel my Twin Flame connection getting stronger inside my heart, while on the outside the trauma bonds between him and I are dying off. Ancient trauma bonds that go back to the moment when the Divine Father and Divine Mother of all creation turned into God and Satan.
This is the end of ancient enmeshment so that soul individuation can occur - and that is the sacred division that needs to happen before Twin Flames merge in Harmonious Union.
My Twin Flame and I are going through opposite but complementary initiation processes. His involves giving away power and descending, while mine involves claiming power and ascending. And that is just one, very small way to describe it.
Hekate will retreat from me if I share Her magical secrets with my Twin. While Hekate supports Twin Flame Union, it's also true that She does not support my Twin Flame at his current vibration.
I am going through a separate initiation process with Her, and my Twin Flame is not invited to the Divine Feminine's mysteries. That is Her strict rule. She will not initiate me if I cannot keep Her mysteries secret - because my Twin has to grow up before he is welcomed inside Hekate's temple. I can either have my Divine Feminine awakening, or I can have a confining, codependent trauma bond with my Twin.
I can either claim my power as a Hekatean Divine Feminine, or I can give up my birthright and make myself small for a man, as Arwen did for Aragorn.
And yet there is another universe - a universe where my Twin and I are fully equal in spiritual power. That is the universe of Harmonious Twin Flame Union, and this is the part that is difficult to talk about.
There is occult phenomena that happens when one universe is dying and another universe is being born. Weird time shit. The breaking of scientific laws. The experience of clashing rules of reality, almost as if the God that created one universe is in conflict with the God that created another universe, and their laws don't go together.
If you know you know.
There is also grief, letting go, loss of meaning, and the death of identity on many levels.
This path is real, but it's also insane.
The Dark Maiden is the Primordial One. Everlasting, without beginning or end and beyond space and time. The true Alpha and Omega.
She is Prostistos, The Very First.
The Original from whose waters all other, increasingly complex spiritualities evolved. The Undifferentiated Blackness before individuation and creation. The dazzling black light at the center, before false masks were fused to our faces and created a false Matrix.
Hekate Prostistos is our First Love. The First Love that happened long ago, in an ancient time beyond memory.
We also know Her in our Mitochondrial Eve. In the first division of the ovum. In our soul blueprint. In our original innocence before we took on shame and blame and the illusion of sin or reincarnation.
I feel enormous grief when I connect to Hekate Prostistos. She feels like starry purity and lost innocence. A primordial ancient goodness that is too pure for this corrupt world.
She feels like the ancient unity between my Twin Flame and I, before the demiurge and his archons tore us apart.
I see Her sometimes walking through a dark, primeval forest, breathing life into being.
Her womb is underground, in the Earth.
She is the Mother of Night who births creation from the abyss.
For months and months, I have sensed a powerful Divine Feminine awakening to come this November. Not on a global scale, but certainly a real awakening for those of us on real Twin Flame journeys. The sleeping accursed Goddess, damned to Hell by the jealous demiurge, is coming back to life.
I have wanted to talk about how the Abrahamic story of God and the Devil is actually a Twin Flame story (arguably the original Twin Flame story - before Adam and Eve!), but I'm going through such huge healings and stressful situations in my life that I haven't had the energy to sit down and write it out.
But the truth is that in this patriarchal world, the true Divine Feminine is demonized. Her darkness frightens them, and Her ownership over Her own desire threatens their power. And so they deride Her as a jinn, as Shaytan, as anything other than the Goddess that She is. The scorned Holy Wife of the small man in the sky, who remains terrified of Her after all of these centuries.
She's coming back this November. At least, I see Her coming back within myself and for the small collective of Divine Feminines who are linked to me or following the same healing trajectory. November is itself a cauldron of transformation in which serious curse-breaking and change will take place.
And no, this isn't really connected to the U.S. presidential election or Kamala Harris. Whether Harris wins or not is irrelevant; she's a low vibrational karmic feminine who is motivated by greed, pride and selfishness. Kamala Harris has nothing to do with this. The Divine Feminine awakening I'm sensing in November is not related to consumerist feminism. It's much deeper, much wilder, and feels like an ancient dragon waking up.
I have not wanted to talk about it because I am going through this very dark initiation process...but Hekate told me to just say it because Hekate has been relentlessly confirming it for days now. The Infernal Divine Feminine is coming back this November.
She is taking Her throne back from the small man in the sky who usurped Her centuries ago, locked Her away in the Underworld, and stole Her spiritual technology for his own distorted religions.
Like Lilith taking her shit back from Adam and Eve. Like Bertha Mason taking back everything that Rochester and Jane Eyre robbed from her.
Harmonious Twin Flame Union is such a high vibration that there is serious danger in trying to access it before you're ready. And I'm not just talking about unhealed Twin Flames abusing each other (yes, that is a thing and that does happen). I'm talking about the high vibration of Twin Flame unity itself.
Have you heard the Kabbalistic tale of the four rabbis who entered the Pardes (the divine orchard)?
Basically, these four rabbis were great Kabbalists and ascended to the presence of God while still living. One rabbi looked at God and immediately died. Another rabbi looked at God went mad. Another rabbi looked at God and became destructive and arrogant. Only one, Rabbi Akiva, gazed upon God in peace and left in peace.
This is what Harmonious Union is. This is how high the stakes get when you ascend to the presence of God while in life, when you merge with your Twin Flame in Harmonious Twin Flame Union. (And even to describe it that way is misleading.)
Harmonious Twin Flame Union is sovereignty. It includes the entry of the Divine Feminine into sacred queenship, which is part of the initiation that I'm going through and some of it is insane.
Wisdom is granted with compassion, taking into account your readiness to handle it. You do not want to end up like the rabbi who dropped dead or the rabbi who went crazy. There are much more balanced ways to approach Harmonious Union. There are guardians, gates, filters and bridges that guide us and stop us along the way to protect us from ourselves.
Right now, I am unburdening and unbinding my heart on a level I have never done before. This processing work is agonizing and lonely and insane. Sometimes it is exhilarating. Always it tests my limits.
But I'd rather have it this way. I know what happens when spiritual seekers grasp for power before they are ready. I have seen people - including people who were on the ascension path but not on the Twin Flame journey - get torn apart.
At least this way I get to fall apart in an almost-but-not-really manageable way.
The rotting old order of lies, energetic theft, energetic cloning, separation consciousness and greed has only one more year before shit hits the fan.
Much of it will start dying in 2025 - I am anticipating the deaths of several abusers in my personal life at that time, and have already been gifted with a few deaths this year - but 2026 will truly begin new life for us, and total destruction for them. The year 2026 will be a year of reclaiming what they stole from us on all levels.
After 2025, their grace period finally runs out. Lies will be exposed. Heads will be chopped. Legacies built on scapegoats will lose their shine and crumble.
Over the course of 2025, major karmas will end and doors will close on the past. By 2026 you will no longer be their food. You will no longer be anyone's slave.
While my Twin Flame and I are healing a lot this year, cycles are still ending and many obstacles need to be destroyed for a foundation of Harmonious Union to be laid. I see more Twin Flame Unions coming together from late 2025 onwards.
The old world that thrives on separation has been standing in the way, and it needs to crumble. Their grand palaces of deceit and greed have only one more year to stand.
Already the ground is trembling under their feet. They can feel their ill-gotten power slipping away. They can feel that payment is due and they are panicking. They are about to be fried. They are about to not only fall, but fall so hard their bones will crack and the earth will shake, and entire towers will come crashing to the ground.
For those who can see, Fate is changing.
Everything comes with a sacrifice, with a price - absolutely everything. When you gain blessings through inner work and surrender, then the price is small...your ego. When you gain blessings through ego, the price is bigger. Much bigger.
So they have one more year. 2025 is all they've got now. Two more Christmases for them and then it's lights out. All that scheming and stealing and it just came down to this in the end. Hope you folks enjoyed your Devil's deal, because payment is due now and you won't enjoy this part at all.
"This constant lying is not aimed at making the people believe a lie, but at ensuring that no one believes anything anymore. A people that can no longer distinguish between truth and lies cannot distinguish between right and wrong. And such a people, deprived of the power to think and judge, is, without knowing and willing it, completely subjected to the rule of lies. With such a people, you can do whatever you want."
― Hannah Arendt
There is an inner part of me that is feral, wise and totally abandoned in the Underworld. She has warned me many times: "You have no idea how deep the rot goes. Your idealism is going to get us killed."
And I have been repeatedly shown how deep it goes. It's staggering. It's treacherous to the point of being mentally destabilizing. It's unbearably evil and disgusting.
It's dark enough to make you want to die. Evil enough to make you forget Love.
It hides. Lurks under the surface of conscious awareness, poisoned by the lies that our society doesn't want to acknowledge.
Beware your denial. Beware the terror that makes you want to run away from the disillusionment.
The only way we can move forward is to let our hearts break, to face the darkness without trying to create a story about it. This is what real ascension into the higher frequencies looks like. It looks like disillusionment, loss, sudden jealousy from people you never expected it from, the destruction of old ideas and dreams, and the exposure of ugly realities that were previously hidden by pretty, pretty lies.
The Matrix is pure deception.
The birth of Heaven on Earth is going to be violent. It's going to be bittersweet. When we talk about a phoenix rising from the ashes, we don't talk about the silent grief of the ashes. Or the burning that came before it.
The vision of a 5D utopia has become so, so distorted by the mainstream New Cage community. Heaven on Earth is not really born as a community, it's born in individual lives through blood and sacrifice, and then it's experienced silently and humbly, without fanfare.
It's born through unsettling destruction on a wide scale, as world power built on separation consciousness disintegrates. It's very scary even when you know you're watching the righteous destruction of the unclean, polluted soul-rapers and their pyramid of lies.
It shatters the heart open.
Heaven on Earth comes to each of us in its own time, it's not one big global event. I also believe that Kali Yuga ends for each of us according to our own timeline - it's not measured by the cycles of human civilization but rather each soul's unique timeline.
We are each led to our own unique Paradise.
Heaven on Earth is slowly, painfully birthing for me and it's terrifying. It requires the total destruction of everything.
Over years of hard work, I have uncovered sensation and emotion-based memories of my birth, and a felt-sense of the hospital. There were some dark energies in that hospital, and that plus the interaction of many other karmas - my ancestral karma in a family of extremely abusive people, my land karma with the rather haunted city I was born in, etc - all created a perfect setting for an abuse pattern to develop in my life.
Healing the womb is traumatic and shows you the deep inner ugliness in all women. The deep fraud in the false sisterhood.
It can be shattering, but this is the darkness we have to move through to know wholeness again. There are many good teachings for accessing and releasing womb trauma - an affordable and excellent option is Yoni Shakti: A Woman's Guide to Power and Freedom through Yoga and Tantra by Uma Dinsmore-Tuli.
You can also call on Hekate Eileithyia.
Beware: real changes will happen in your life, and they won't always be pretty. In my case, healing the womb created huge upheaval with other women.
Here's something I wrote in my diary a couple years while going through a stage of womb healing:
Why do they repeatedly shut down my rage? That too, in a WOMEN'S circle where rage is the point? Why do they lie and gaslight me, only for Spirit to prove that my memory was 100% correct? Why do they shut me down and Bind my voice when I ask questions that make them uneasy? Why do they try to distract me when I'm trying to recall deep truths in my heart? Why don't they want to discuss my reclamation and my soul retrieval when reclamation and soul retrieval are what they teach?
It's like how the hospital of my birth was a virtue-signalling woke zone on the surface, but treated me like utter shit.
Every concept these women champion loudly and publicly, they stamp down in me.
Every spiritual practice they repeatedly, daily, endlessly argue for on every Internet platform they have, they discourage me from practicing.
Everything they say they do, they don't want me to do.
Every inquiry they encourage, they don't want me to inquire.
Every value they encourage in each other REPEATEDLY, they angrily discourage in me.There is a cleverly hidden, insidious fraud going on. There is a Demonic Femininity that masquerades very convincingly as the Divine Feminine. It goes back to my earliest memories.
Every circle of enlightened women (!!!!) has been harvesting my energy and trying to steal from me just like those high school girls did. And they deceive, obfuscate, distract, and even blatantly shut me down in order to prevent me from escaping their convenient trap. I am the dirty secret that women don't want to acknowledge, the shame and fuel of their Omelas. I am the uncomfortable lie holding up their incredibly convincing facade.
This is why they brainwash you, this is why your soul was screaming that even these women's groups have an agenda, and you either get in line with the "group energy" or you get out. Do you know what that is? An epic pattern of spiritual bypassing.
There are false light women teachers running rampant. There are Demonic Feminines running amok on Earth, at the highest and most respected levels of spiritual teaching. It's STUNNING and heartbreaking.
These women don't support other women unless they get to control them. Unless they get to control the narrative. These women abuse in secret, targeting female victims who won't speak out and won't be believed, and carry on their rampage of destruction and soul-theft while braying on social media about their soul retrieval teachings.
Most crushingly, these are women who once inspired me, taught me, and gave me the tools and the knowledge to elevate myself out of the muck.
I can't even access my anger. I mostly just feel utterly disillusioned and heartbroken. I doubt myself a lot, which is outrageous. In truth, I am the shame that nobody can bear to acknowledge. I am the sin that they have avoided looking at for a long, long time, and profited hugely from in the process. I am their hypocrisy. I am the inconvenient truth that breaks their elaborate game. They would much, much rather have me kill myself. Better I die rather than the truth come out.
Fun fact, this is the shadow side of Lilith's archetype that most Divine Feminine teachers will never acknowledge. My womb healing journey was well underway when Roe v. Wade was overturned. Although I'm obviously pro-choice, a very curious thing happened around that time.
The night before SCOTUS overturned the constitutional right to abortion, I could feel another layer of my mother wound getting healed. I felt the binding, restricting curse on my throat chakra (where once my bio-mother's umbilical cord had choked me) lift. I felt something parasitic release from my womb chakra.
My body was healing, as if it was being allowed to finally experience life.
As if something that had been cruelly aborted...was finally being allowed to be reborn.
My Twin Flame's higher self came to me in a dream that night and we made love in a secret astral location that is meaningful to both of us.
I woke up the next morning to the news that Roe v. Wade had been reversed. Intellectually, I knew it was evil and wrong. Energetically, though, I felt the weight of a curse lift from me.
I felt the shadow aspect of Lilith loosen a murderous grip that she's had over me for my entire life.
While I agreed with the panic and anger that women expressed at the news, I also saw something disquieting. An undercurrent that I could feel and sense, but knew better than to say out loud: they were angry and panicked because I had released a karma with them. They were triggered because they couldn't energetically rape and kill me anymore, as they had for lifetimes.
The very same women who were angry about abortion rights were unconsciously, secretly angry that they could no longer use me as an enslaved energy source as in The Handmaid's Tale...because I was the enslaved source of their fertility power, and aborted as a sacrifice to maintain their wombs for them.
As I began to recover and reclaim the fertility power they had stolen from me so self-righteously, they suddenly began to weep and wail about being enslaved like in The Handmaid's Tale...exactly as they, acting for years as Serena Waterford, had grown accustomed to enslaving me.
I saw the mask covering the Demonic Feminine's murderous face slip. I saw the Demonic Feminine's narcissistic rage, her fear of being treated as she had treated me.
And that's the kind of politically incorrect mindfuck that womb healing brings. It's not a feminist path when labels like feminism can be appropriated by ego. It's the path of the Divine Feminine.
An unborn spiritual child has many of the same needs as a physical child. It requires enormous energy to birth yourself anew, and even for a childfree woman like me this process is heavily connected to my womb. Through years of intense inner work, the Divine Child is being formed exactly like a fetus and it is a process that is strenuous, dangerous, terrifying. It requires a lot of energy to fuel the Divine Child's growth and nourishment. To redirect the life force from energy leaks, old patterns and parasitic soul contracts into surrender, authenticity, and life purpose. All of this literally creates a soul rebirth through the womb. If the rebirth process has begun and you stop doing the shadow work, this Divine Child gets destroyed.
I'm still birthing my higher self into this physical world.
It involves initiatory ordeals so intense and dark that I sometimes am just at a loss for words. What can I even say?
As just one example: I have discovered demons in my womb, siphoning my life force. And I feel I can't publicly say a whole lot more than that.
The high vibrational spiritual pregnancy known as Light Conception is absolutely NOT a fairytale.
Everyone talks about rebirthing work, but nobody talked to me about how fucking dark and evil it can be. Now I know why some people report feeling suicidal while being rebirthed in life/facing birth trauma and womb trauma.
This level of purging and letting go is beyond anything I thought would be expected of me, but I have no choice but to do the inner work. Birthing yourself into a new world brings out a fierce self-love in you, the fierce love of a divine mother birthing her divine child. And as that happens many things die, so those deaths can feed the spiritual rebirth. It's so traumatic that I should be dead, frankly. And over the past few years I almost did die several times, and so did my future self/spiritual infant. It's so brutal to do this alone that I can't quite describe the spiritual trauma I have now. My rebirth process is traumatizing.
Yet there are also moments of magic, wonder, and miracles as I am reborn in stages even while the rest of my old self is dying.
I know Hekate Eileithyia in that unsteady rebirth feeling. Each moment where I felt like I was going to die, and then I was born. Each time I integrated and was like a new stranger to myself.
Hekate Eileithyia is the sacred midwife who stewards the holy rebirth of Self. She knows the mysteries of the Divine Child, of being "twice-born". Her cave, representing the womb, was once honored by the Minoans. This primordial birthing void, and the experience of second birth, is the first true religion of humankind.
The process of birthing my spiritual self through my womb connects me to the Womb in the Earth, almost as if an umbilical cord of light connects me and anchors me to the land. The Earth Womb is very connected to the concept of the Underworld, and facilitates the scapegoat's return to innocence.
The human womb is the original cauldron of all witchcraft. It is a black portal into infinite space that can create galaxies and rebirth your soul into being.
This aspect of the Great Divine Mother is so, so huge. Connecting to my womb was the first time I directly had the darshan of Kali. And in this rebirth process I not only experience Hekate as Eileithyia, but as the great Cybele.
Something very ancient and pure is enshrined in a woman's womb, but purging my womb space to hold that divine power is extremely painful. There is grief and trauma in there that goes back into ancestral garbage, past life stuff, and also specifically the deep trauma of separation from my Twin Flame. All of this is related to the anti-Life paradigm of transcendence, dissociation, and rejection of Matter in favor of Spirit.
Clearing these traumas and demonic energies from the womb is not exactly safe. It is literal death and rebirth.
The sacred Egg must be guarded carefully, because its sanctity is not even recognized in a world of patriarchy. A Japanese movie from 1985, "Angel's Egg", depicts how dangerous this process is and how easily the Divine Child can be killed.
The Divine Child can only be birthed through a cleansed womb, and you can be dragged to the edge of death if that is what it takes to purify you. And by "purify", I don't mean adherence to an external moral code. It's actually the opposite! You are purified of societal and cultural programming, including external moral codes and everything that has bound up the Divine Feminine in chains. Everything that has prevented a return to wildness, freedom and true innocence. This is the true price of your second birth.
The inner journey into this chamber of rebirth can be unbelievably lonely. It can isolate you from everyone in your previous life, exactly as if that previous life is undergoing physical death.
Birthing the Self is messy and painful.
A few aspects of the womb journey with Hekate are indirectly described in Entering Hekate's Cave: The Journey Through Darkness to Wholeness, which I recommend buying second hand because the author has stopped doing her shadow work and is harming people. The book does not describe womb healing or the powers of Hekate Eileithyia (or Her ancient cave worship), but the material in there is relevant.
The womb space is in fact Hekate's cave. The dark watery caves are representative of the chthonic womb, where light and space are restricted so that the seeker is forced to look inwards.
It's a process that is not recognizable in our world of logic and politically correct spirituality. And maybe it can never truly be made socially acceptable or politically correct. It is a path of rewilding, so it will always lead you away from civilization. Maybe the doorway of the Womb will always need to be a mystery.
This is a purification and death process unlike anything most people could ever anticipate.
Harmonious Twin Flame Union is not just a psychologically balanced relationship between Twin Flames. It's kind of like attaining Mantra Siddhi of the One Devi. In some Western traditions, it's kind of like attaining Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel. (There are no exact equivalences though - these are all ultimately separate paths.)
What's essentially happening is a very high frequency dissolution of the illusion of separation - while, at the same time, grounded individuation in the human form. It has nothing to do with your Twin Flame, although my Twin and I are slowly re-uniting. But it still has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PHYSICAL TWIN FLAME.
This entire process has nothing to do with wanting your Twin, it has nothing to do with anything of that sort. This is driven by one motive: you want your soul and you want God. You know you cannot live without God/Love.
And there no way to avoid facing the utter darkness that stands between you and God. There is no romanticism here, no high ideals, even though this is the path to the highest ideal of them all with the greatest Lover of them all.
This is a dangerous ego death with no external savior to help you. The safety is off, the training wheels are gone, and you will face the full malevolence of the "Matrix" as you fight to leave it.
Nobody wants to talk openly about what really fucking happens on this path to Harmonious Twin Flame Union, so I will give a glimpse of what can happen.
You will be attacked by abusive spirits who want to siphon your energy, cage you and imprison you, feed off of you, and destroy you. You will uncover demonic possessions inside yourself and inside your Twin Flame. You will know the horror of seeing your otherworldly Twin Flame love being eaten - yes, eaten - by parasitic spirits. You will experience betrayal and abandonment on levels that cannot be believed. You will uncover dark truths about humanity that cannot be believed. You will uncover dark truths about the False "God" that cannot be believed. You will experience murder attempts (yes, I have experienced murder attempts - to the point where I am barely even surprised anymore). Torture. Death. The most skillfully orchestrated sabotage and destruction imaginable, almost as if your life is a plot.
You and your Twin will play out archetypal themes from mythology and religion, and I don't mean that in a psychological sense. You and your Twin will actually, literally, for real REAL play out archetypal themes from mythology and religion.
And sometimes the Light is more terrifying than the Evil. Back when I still had a Sri Yantra on my altar, there was one night when Anandamayi Ma appeared in the Sri Yantra. She emanated such a bright, pure Light that I squeezed my eyes shut in terror. It felt unsafe to look at such Light. Her sweet voice was the exact same voice I had once heard the night before my initiation into Sri Vidya - the voice of Tripura Sundari.
It filled me with fear.
Since then, my Twin Flame and I have had to battle very dark spirits. Murderous fae, predatory hungry ghosts, imposter spirits, curses and false gods. Shocking evil in human beings. Everything that is Not Love.
You are not ready for it. There is no way to be "ready" for it and there is no skill set or spiritual mastery that can minimize these risks or make the torture and horror go away.
If you really want Harmonious Union, prepare to have everything inside you and outside you get burned down in savage, unforgiving, politically incorrect ways that don't match the glib "teachings" of candy cane spirituality and the so-called benevolence of the universe. Prepare for upheaval that doesn't match the dogmatic, diluted, distorted and policed teachings about Kundalini awakening.
This is a free fall into the abyss.
This is Judgment.
This is the death in life before your physical death.
"Remember what I told you. If they hated me, they will hate you."
People will not applaud you when you reach higher states of consciousness. They will pathologize your healing and attempt to sabotage and suppress your awakening, because they have to bring you down before you vibe out of their reality...before consequences come down on them. Consequences for their years of abuse and jealousy.
The way the old reality has been responding to my ascending vibration is insane and disheartening (literally insane - as I'm leaving that timeline, people are insisting they had memories of me a week ago or a month ago that actually never happened), and it's not all love and light.
As I'm also reaching and purging a core abandonment wound, people are attempting to shut down that healing process - often using the same sabotaging patterns of behavior that have been employed against me all of my life.
The Twin Flame ascension path is not all love and light.
Sometimes it seems that the closer we come to the inner God, the more disillusioned we become by everything and everyone else.
This blog is over, but as the year is also almost over, it's fitting that both the blog and the year leave together. This has been a De...