An unborn spiritual child has many of the same needs as a physical child. It requires enormous energy to birth yourself anew, and even for a childfree woman like me this process is heavily connected to my womb. Through years of intense inner work, the Divine Child is being formed exactly like a fetus and it is a process that is strenuous, dangerous, terrifying. It requires a lot of energy to fuel the Divine Child's growth and nourishment. To redirect the life force from energy leaks, old patterns and parasitic soul contracts into surrender, authenticity, and life purpose. All of this literally creates a soul rebirth through the womb. If the rebirth process has begun and you stop doing the shadow work, this Divine Child gets destroyed.
I'm still birthing my higher self into this physical world.
It involves initiatory ordeals so intense and dark that I sometimes am just at a loss for words. What can I even say?
As just one example: I have discovered demons in my womb, siphoning my life force. And I feel I can't publicly say a whole lot more than that.
The high vibrational spiritual pregnancy known as Light Conception is absolutely NOT a fairytale.
Everyone talks about rebirthing work, but nobody talked to me about how fucking dark and evil it can be. Now I know why some people report feeling suicidal while being rebirthed in life/facing birth trauma and womb trauma.
This level of purging and letting go is beyond anything I thought would be expected of me, but I have no choice but to do the inner work. Birthing yourself into a new world brings out a fierce self-love in you, the fierce love of a divine mother birthing her divine child. And as that happens many things die, so those deaths can feed the spiritual rebirth. It's so traumatic that I should be dead, frankly. And over the past few years I almost did die several times, and so did my future self/spiritual infant. It's so brutal to do this alone that I can't quite describe the spiritual trauma I have now. My rebirth process is traumatizing.
Yet there are also moments of magic, wonder, and miracles as I am reborn in stages even while the rest of my old self is dying.
I know Hekate Eileithyia in that unsteady rebirth feeling. Each moment where I felt like I was going to die, and then I was born. Each time I integrated and was like a new stranger to myself.
Hekate Eileithyia is the sacred midwife who stewards the holy rebirth of Self. She knows the mysteries of the Divine Child, of being "twice-born". Her cave, representing the womb, was once honored by the Minoans. This primordial birthing void, and the experience of second birth, is the first true religion of humankind.
The process of birthing my spiritual self through my womb connects me to the Womb in the Earth, almost as if an umbilical cord of light connects me and anchors me to the land. The Earth Womb is very connected to the concept of the Underworld, and facilitates the scapegoat's return to innocence.
The human womb is the original cauldron of all witchcraft. It is a black portal into infinite space that can create galaxies and rebirth your soul into being.
This aspect of the Great Divine Mother is so, so huge. Connecting to my womb was the first time I directly had the darshan of Kali. And in this rebirth process I not only experience Hekate as Eileithyia, but as the great Cybele.
Something very ancient and pure is enshrined in a woman's womb, but purging my womb space to hold that divine power is extremely painful. There is grief and trauma in there that goes back into ancestral garbage, past life stuff, and also specifically the deep trauma of separation from my Twin Flame. All of this is related to the anti-Life paradigm of transcendence, dissociation, and rejection of Matter in favor of Spirit.
Clearing these traumas and demonic energies from the womb is not exactly safe. It is literal death and rebirth.
The sacred Egg must be guarded carefully, because its sanctity is not even recognized in a world of patriarchy. A Japanese movie from 1985, "Angel's Egg", depicts how dangerous this process is and how easily the Divine Child can be killed.
The Divine Child can only be birthed through a cleansed womb, and you can be dragged to the edge of death if that is what it takes to purify you. And by "purify", I don't mean adherence to an external moral code. It's actually the opposite! You are purified of societal and cultural programming, including external moral codes and everything that has bound up the Divine Feminine in chains. Everything that has prevented a return to wildness, freedom and true innocence. This is the true price of your second birth.
The inner journey into this chamber of rebirth can be unbelievably lonely. It can isolate you from everyone in your previous life, exactly as if that previous life is undergoing physical death.
Birthing the Self is messy and painful.
A few aspects of the womb journey with Hekate are indirectly described in Entering Hekate's Cave: The Journey Through Darkness to Wholeness, which I recommend buying second hand because the author has stopped doing her shadow work and is harming people. The book does not describe womb healing or the powers of Hekate Eileithyia (or Her ancient cave worship), but the material in there is relevant.
The womb space is in fact Hekate's cave. The dark watery caves are representative of the chthonic womb, where light and space are restricted so that the seeker is forced to look inwards.
It's a process that is not recognizable in our world of logic and politically correct spirituality. And maybe it can never truly be made socially acceptable or politically correct. It is a path of rewilding, so it will always lead you away from civilization. Maybe the doorway of the Womb will always need to be a mystery.