When I began working with Hekate Brimo, the catharsis was...unbelievable. She put me more deeply in touch with the demonized Divine Feminine consciousness that had been trapped in the Underworld for this whole lifetime and many previous ones. Severed from me, dismembered, and scattered in the abyss.
With the assistance of Hekate Brimo's apocalyptic magic, she began to slowly thaw from her frozen state. Awaken with roars.
Due to what she has been through for centuries and this whole lifetime, due to the severity of her deprivation and repression, her awakening is deeply terrifying for me and heralds the total destruction of my reality.
Have you ever seen the film "Serenity"? She is the vicious, bloodthirsty frenzy of the Reavers after the planet Miranda is infected with the Pax virus, and she is buried under layers of brainwashing in River Tam's mind.
She is Samara, finally crawling out of the television.
She is Hyde, driven to uncontrollable "evil" rage after being split off and suppressed for centuries by Jekyll.
She is Aliveness. Justice. Revolution. She is the lioness roaring back to life inside my womb and ovaries. She is the fury of the Scapegoat.
She is Brimo, and she feels fucking good when I allow myself to get in touch with her. She is deeply liberating and healing.
I will lose literally everyone when she finally awakens in me. Because everyone probably thinks she's Satan, when in fact she is the portal to the God inside me. She is my truest self and she is in direct conflict with the false reality I have been caged in my whole life. She will break everyone's hearts because their world of lies can't withstand her, and it will break my heart to see their hearts break.
But it breaks my heart more to abandon myself.
It's going to suck. I don't care. I finally want her, and the truth, more than I want respectability or trauma bonds. I want freedom more than I want the illusion of social approval and "safety" in the shadows.