The Twin Flame connection is a bit different from the trauma healing and decolonization that I've been describing.
Framing it through the four upayas (means of liberation), the trauma healing I've been doing is a lot like shaktopaya. But the Twin Flame connection starts at shambhavopaya.
It is complete lucidity. And lucidity is terrifying.
Like when a consecrated, completely alive idol of Goddess Durga left me speechless with awe, terrified and shocked because She scared me awake. For that brief darshan, She completely ended all thought, even thoughts about thought.
Or like when a broken but still alive idol of Goddess Cybele (I think in Her case, it would be called a theophany instead of a darshan) almost brought me to my knees because Her idol was so terrifyingly alive, real and powerful. I couldn't form words and all thoughts ceased. There was only the Self recognizing the Self...and my urge to run away.
Why does terror arise in such enlivening Divine presence? Because you're made aware of just how asleep you've been. Because it means the game is over and maybe you're not ready yet.
That's what darshan of your Twin Flame is like. The first time my Twin laid eyes on me at 3:33 AM in the morning, he was left terrified and speechless in the exact same way.
Because it feels like waking up out of a dream you didn't realize you were in. Unplugging from the Matrix.