Spiritual upgrades come with a total destruction of the old reality, and as this enters a new level I wonder if I can even continue this blog while remaining in integrity. Because the personality that appears to be "me" is dying off, along with every anchor to my old life.
Not only that, but the more I cross the threshold, the more I realize that all avenues to real communication are actually blocked right now. This blog is being written in the old timeline, and can't continue to be written as I cross over. I can't leave this false reality while I'm still, on some level, communicating with that same false reality.
Writing on this blog is immensely difficult to stop, since I'm already isolated in RL and rely solely on the inner Divine connection. This is what it's like to "escape the prison planet", or the Matrix.
There is grief that needs to be felt, and bewilderment and loss as I let go of everything that is unable to survive the ascent. Because this is the death of a universe, the death of my whole world, as I follow Her torchlight through a portal into a new reality.
And while I need to conserve energy, remain private, and grieve the wounds in my heart as I let go of attachments, there is something else brewing as well.
There are aspects of the Twin Flame ascension path that simply cannot be discussed openly, even if doing so might heal my voice (and writing here has definitely helped my throat chakra). There is a reason why the public is deeply disturbed by many aspects of Twin Flames - and not just because the "twin flame" collective encourages codependency or because the movement has been hijacked by superficial people. It's because the dynamics of this connection don't look "normal". We are deeply strange to them. We are Other. We are a potentially dangerous threat to their comfortable, ordered little world.
And because walking this road takes total commitment to the soul and surrender to the Divine, I can't walk it and write about it at the same time. This isn't anything like the mainstream Twin Flame path anymore, it's truly and completely mine now and I'm walking it only with Her and with my Twin. I've become able to claim that completely now.
The hidden path is out in the wild, and it is a left hand path. Entirely driven by independence and self-determination. And it may never be for public viewing.
I think it would be nice if Harmonious Twin Flame Union became ordinary, as ordinary as going to church, but I don't think that's ever going to happen. An imitation of Twin Flame Union will very likely become mainstream, because it's already happening, but that's a surface level appropriation. It's just taking on the aesthetics and language of Twin Flame ascension while never knowing the connection from the inside. This perversion of the Truth is already common, and it will become even more common.
But the real thing? No. The risky, scary-vulnerable initiation, the Underworld journey and the dark depth of Twin Flame healing work will never be mainstream and it will never be "normal".
The face of the Beloved cannot be colonized and will not allow itself to be written about, so it turns out that I will not be blogging about my journey to Harmonious Twin Flame Union after all. And while it was very healing and very necessary to write what I did, that ends here. The rest of the Twin Flame path is meant to be kept private from now on.
I may still write some blog posts here and there, because to not write brings up the trauma of being silenced my whole life, but I won't write about Twin Flames or the experience of Divine Feminine awakening again. Honestly, I don't know what I'll write about. The tension between this dying old reality and the emerging new one is getting more difficult every day. At some point, this blog might just need to be gently let go of.