At some point between the 2024 Winter Solstice and New Year's Eve, this blog blew up. And since then, I've been getting constant emails or messages on Reddit from a sudden influx of readers.
Thank you. Sincerely, thank you. It's amazing to feel heard and seen in my deepest, darkest traumas. To know that people saw who I really am underneath the polite, insane smiling mask I have to wear in RL. That people read my innermost thoughts, written in blood and tears, and felt moved enough to reach out to me. That I was being flooded with views and messages even though I did absolutely nothing "right" to win the algorithm's favor, and in fact have done nothing to promote this blog at all. All I did was write from my heart, and I guess the Goddess that we all worship took it from there.
I appreciate all the kind words I received. It meant more than you could possibly know.
As a sensitive woman going through massive change and a dangerous Kundalini awakening, though, the sudden attention has also been very overwhelming and scary. Especially as I'm not used to getting this kind of attention at all, and I had not planned to continue this blog in its current iteration. I am going through too much change.
Some people have asked if I ever plan on continuing this blog. I don't know about the future (every time I've thought I made a decision about something, the Goddess laughed), but right now I can't make any promises that I will continue to write here. Too much is changing in my life, and it's difficult and dangerous. I need to focus on my inner work and can't even think of what to write when who I believe I am is completely changing.
I will leave a small final update here, though, and hopefully some words that will carry you all through the turbulent times to come.
Twin Flames
As I've said before, I no longer talk about my Twin Flame or our journey in public. And unfortunately, I cannot advise other Twins on their journeys, so please don't ask me to give guidance on this topic. What I will tell you is that healing is messy, and your old life will become completely uncomfortable as you ascend towards Harmonious Union. Which is one of the reasons why I had to stop blogging here. The closer my Twin and I grow as we heal from what we have endured, the more we both change, and the truth of our spiritual journey continues to shock us and shake us to our core.
It's not a politically correct process and a lot of dogma about incarnation, the soul, and life purpose out there is very, very misleading. Use your discernment if you are on the Twin Flame path and don't take the public teachings at face value.
This is a secret swan temple that truly cannot be accessed by the completely misleading consensus opinions of the "twin flame" community. In fact, my Twin Flame Union is being reclaimed from the degraded egregore of that community. When I talk about the work of reclaiming, when I named my blog after this very path of reclaiming Twin Flame Union from those who desecrated it, the false light "twin flame" community was one of those desecrators.
I'm serious. For example, the Nazism that you're seeing in public figures is finally showing itself in the twin flame/lightworker/starseed community more clearly than ever, though many of us have warned about this for years (and I have hinted at it in this post). Just recently, a false light teacher who thinks she's in Twin Flame Union made a video about how she had dream visits from Donald Trump and Elon Musk, and thinks Mother Earth wants Musk's "divine masculine" protection. Do you really want to trust a community like this to guide you to the ultimate love of your life?
It's especially important right now that you don't give away your power to anyone - nobody knows your Twin Flame journey better than you do.
Goodbye to the False Self
"There is a certain death that occurs as part of the healing process, a part of us unable to survive illumination. As we turn the light around, according to one Daoist alchemical text, a piece of soul will fall away. While it is tempting to spin out of the uncertainty and quickly into rebirth, there is wisdom and purity within the reorganization which we cannot bring into embodied knowing if we patch it all up prematurely. The dissolution itself is initiation as it offers vision and feeling not available in the put-back-together state. An old part of ourselves that has accompanied us for so long, a fellow traveler is no longer permitted to continue the journey by our side. This prior soul-companion can be another person or it can be a member of the inner family."
― Matt Licata
I am going through a disorienting ego death, and the raw firepower of Kundalini Shakti is burning everything to ashes right now.
Something that has haunted me for lifetimes is leaving. Something that has maliciously abused me, lied to me, copied my identity and sabotaged me for lifetimes is preparing to leave for its punishment (the second death).
As this false self dies, so does the entire false reality it upheld and the civilization that relied on it to control me.
And the lost Soul fragment, long ago removed from me and replaced with a mask, is about to re-integrate/is re-integrating (I have no idea how to describe anything right now), a long-awaited homecoming. When this Soul part reintegrates, it will need an enormous amount of care to recover from the torture.
Pray for me, please.
Beneath all of the shifting pieces is the burning fiery awareness of Her. The ancient goddess of soulcraft, as Hekate first revealed Herself to me. It's why She repeatedly gave me this Rumi poem:
the secret hurt,
pain itself will crack the rock
and ahhhh...let the soul emerge.
There is grief in the midst of all this. Shock, grief, awe, terror, and more grief. The strange journey from soul-rape to soul retrieval. I suppose this is why they call Her a Psychopomp: a Soul Guide.
The Chaldean Rose of Fire
One of Hekate's epithets is the Fiery Rose of Creation, or Fiery Flower of Creation (Pyros Anthos). This epithet comes from the Chaldean Oracles, and was revealed to me during my healing process via synchronicity, research and internal guidance.
I'm not being allowed to write here what the Fiery Rose of Creation means to me, except that it is a profound and mysterious aspect of Hekate's power. And She wants people to meditate on this epithet. It is relevant to the creation of a New Earth from the death of this corrupt world. It is relevant to Harmonious Twin Flame Union, and much more that She's preventing me from typing out here.
It's a relevant mystery for these times. Any Hekatean witches who read this are encouraged to contemplate Hekate as the Divine Fiery Rose, if this resonates with you.
The Apocalyptic Goddess
We are living in a time of great destruction. Maybe the last couple months have been pretty hard for everyone...but what's to come is much worse. Even for those of us who are psychic, it's going to break our hearts.
I don't even know how I'll live through it, because I don't know who I'll be. And that should be everyone's first priority at this time: deep diving to connect with your personal God/ishta devata, clearing away impurities, and becoming deeply connected with who you really are at the core. Refuse to give your power away to any external godform, do not be a slave to anyone. Find the real inner Light of your personal God. When you are anchored there, you don't really need to know what's coming. You'll be better equipped to survive than any expert prepper who did everything right, except connecting to their own inner Divinity.
Many of you who emailed or messaged me are black sheep like me, outcast from the self-righteous herd. That same herd is going to get sacrificed now, exactly as they intended to sacrifice us. It's grim, and not even what we wanted for them, but this is the consequence of extreme mass denial and narrative control.
The Goddess advises me to stay out of the way and let Her take aim, so that's the only advice I can pass on to you.
Focus on protecting yourself and continually going within to know Divine Love according to your unique path. We are not here to be saviors or heroes, we are here to survive the unsurvivable, and nurture ourselves where the world refused to nurture us.
Remember when I said the birth of Heaven on Earth would be violent? We are in that time now. The chaos, upheaval, and eerie, spooky terror that we are seeing are the death throes of a fraudulent civilization so that a complete healing of the world system can eventually unfold. And frankly, we don't owe them anything. This is the destruction of a world that tried to wipe out our light in order to protect its lies.
All of that is unraveling now. In order for the system to regain balance and integrity, everything that no longer serves us is rising to the surface to be cleared. Every untruth must be vomited out, every cover-up exposed, every theft accounted for, every scapegoat avenged. And people who have relied on collective denial are just never going to accept this. We do not have an obligation to save them from their stubborn denial.
This false civilization will pathologically deny the harm they caused because it's the only way for them to escape the hammer of justice. That is not going to work anymore...so here we are, in the violent last days of a false civilization that is even now unable to see its death.
I'm weary of the madness of mainstream consciousness, and I'm not in the business of putting out their fires anymore. I need to retreat and care for myself. Right now I am being painfully restored from dismemberment, as Sati was.
Lie low, breathe, love yourself. Be renewed and rest in the unknown. The time will eventually come when the path forward will be illumined for you.
Maybe I'll see you there on the other side one day.